


The Fear in the Truth

by psychotic_fangirl369



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Canon Era, Crying, First Kiss, Goddesses, Love Confessions, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin Needs a Hug (Merlin), Merlin Snaps, Merlin rants, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin), a goddess makes merlin confess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:47:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28294047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychotic_fangirl369/pseuds/psychotic_fangirl369
Summary: “Be still, young knights. I am the goddess of this realm and in order to cross my bridge, you have to fulfil a simple task. Do so, and you may cross unharmed. Fail, and you will die. If you do not wish to continue, you may leave now unharmed. But you will not find another way to cross my river and so your quest will fail.”“What is the task, goddess?” Arthur asked, lowering his sword and sheathing it.The knights followed suit.The goddess smiled coldly. “Simple. To cross the bridge, each of you must take your turn stating your greatest fear."Or Merlin panicking about revealing his magic, ranting to a goddess about all the things he's scared of and Arthur being a good friend.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 27
Kudos: 404





	The Fear in the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! 
> 
> This is my first Merlin fanfic, but it was a long time coming since I've been obsessed with the show for over five years now. I hope you enjoy it! xxx

Merlin had no idea how he got himself into these situations. It was a gift - or a curse - really. How he managed to always end up in places he really ought not to be with people he ought not to be with and with things that ought not to be said on the verge of being spoken, he’ll never know.

The day had started off rather well. He was on a mission with the knights and Arthur, off to collect some object or other and everything had been so normal. And he had thought, stupidly, that maybe this once he wouldn’t have to use magic or get them out of a sticky situation or nearly be exposed for his crimes. Stupid. Idiotic. And as Arthur liked to say, he really was a fool. Because just after lunch, as they were walking through the forest, they came across a bridge. And that was when everything went to hell.

Arthur stepped onto the bridge first. No sooner had his foot touched the wood, a beautiful woman appeared in the middle of the bridge. The knights drew their swords at once, but the woman just smiled.

“Be still, young knights. I am the goddess of this realm and in order to cross my bridge, you have to fulfil a simple task. Do so, and you may cross unharmed. Fail, and you will die. If you do not wish to continue, you may leave now unharmed. But you will not find another way to cross my river and so your quest will fail.”

Merlin eyed the goddess. She had light brown skin and dark, curly hair that cascaded down her shoulders. She wore a white dress with a golden belt and her feet were bare. He shifted uneasily. Something felt off.

“What is the task, goddess?” Arthur asked lowering his sword and sheathing it.

The knights followed suit.

The goddess smiled coldly. “Simple. To cross the bridge, each of you must take your turn stating your greatest fear. If what you say is true, you may cross unharmed and continue on your quest.”

Arthur turned to face the knights. “I am willing to complete the task, are you?” Arthur asked.

Merlin had no idea what the knights said, he was too busy panicking. His greatest fear… how could he stand before Arthur and Leon and Gwaine and Percival and Elyan and state his biggest secret? How could he reveal his magic to _Arthur?_ He felt himself grow pale.

“ _Mer_ lin?”

Merlin looked up as Arthur said his name and swallowed. “Okay, sire.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, _Mer_ lin. None of us will laugh when you reveal your fear of spiders.”

Gwaine snorted and Merlin forced out a weak laugh. “And I promise not to laugh when you admit to being scared of _rats,_ sire.”

Arthur flushed. “That was one time,” he muttered under his breath, before straightening up and turning back to the goddess. “We will accept your task, my Lady. And as the King of Camelot, I will go first.” Arthur stepped further onto the bridge.

“State your greatest fear, Arthur Pendragon, and you shall pass unharmed,” the goddess says.

Merlin watched as Arthur took a deep breath. “My greatest fear is failing in my duties as king. I fear that I will not be good enough, that I won’t live up to my fathers expectations and that I will ruin Camelot and let down her people.”

The goddess was silent for a moment, before she stepped aside. “You may pass.”

Arthur’s shoulders sagged and he looked back at his knights and Merlin, before stepping past the goddess and crossing the bridge.

Merlin clasped his fingers together to stop them from shaking. _My greatest fear is my magic being discovered. How can I say it, when they will all hear and then Arthur will know? He’ll know._

Percival went next. He stepped onto the bridge with his back straight and said, in a soft voice, “My greatest fear is never finding love.”

The goddess smiled. “Love might be closer to you than you think, sir knight.” Then she stepped aside and let Percival passed.

Merlin started to sweat. There was only Leon, Gwaine, Elyan and himself left. Gwaine clapped Merlin on the shoulder. Cheer up, Merls. It’ll be okay.” Then he sauntered onto the bridge, grinning at the goddess.

“Hello, beautiful,” he drawled and the goddess smiled.

“Tell me your fear,” she said.

Gwaine laughed. “MY greatest fear… mmm. I am afraid of how much I am willing to do for my good friend Merlin over there.”

Merlin felt himself flush.

“I hate nobles. Can’t stand knights. And yet here I am, a knight of Camelot, because Merlin wanted me to be. I’m scared of how I would do anything for him.”

Gwaine looked over his shoulder at Merlin and smiled. Merlin smiled back, for a moment forgetting his impending doom. Then the goddess moved aside and Gwaine crossed the bridge.

“Merlin?” Leon asked, nodding towards the bridge, but Merlin shook his head.

“No, you go. I’ll go last.” He laughed shakily.

Elyan shrugged and stepped onto the bridge. “I am afraid of losing my sister. She is the only family I have left.”

The goddess smiled sadly. “Fear of losing ones family is a common one. And yet that does not make the fear any less great. You may pass.”

That left Leon and Merlin. Leon looked at Merlin once, before stepping onto the bridge. “I am afraid of harming innocents, of dishonouring the knights code. I afraid of losing my fellow knights and friends in combat.”

The goddess laughed lightly. “That is two fears. But both are true. “Go forth, Sir Leon.”

That just left Merlin. Hesitantly, he stepped onto the bridge. Behind the goddess, he could see his friends stood on the other side of the bridge, watching him. Merlin looked at the goddess, but remained silent.

“Come on, Merlin, fess up!” Gwaine shouted.

“We won’t laugh, _Mer_ lin,” Arthur smirked.

_Please don’t make me do this,_ Merlin silently begged the goddess. But she just smiled at him.

“Speak your fear, Merlin.”

Merlin swallowed hard. “You know, why don’t I just head back to Camelot. I don’t need to be here for this quest,” he tried, but the goddess shook her head.

“You all chose to partake. Back out, and you all die.”

Merlin cursed under his breath, then swallowed hard and looked up at the goddess. “I am scared of people discovering my secret.”

The goddess shook her head. “Not good enough, I’m afraid.”

Merlin glanced over at Arthur. “I’m scared of Arthur discovering my secret.” He watched as confusion clouded Arthur’s features and he swallowed and looked back back at the goddess. She shook her head. He sighed. This was it. He had to say it. “I’m scared of Arthur learning about my magic.” He heard Arthur and the knights gasp, but he refused to look at them, keeping his eyes on the goddess.

Yet again, she shook her head. “That is not your greatest fear.”

Merlin held out his arms in frustration. “Then what is? What could I possibly be more scared of than Arthur finding out about my _magic?_ ”

The goddess remained calm. “You tell me.”

Merlin scoffed. “I don’t know! I don’t… I’m scared of… of.” He frowned.

“Go on. What is it you fear most?” the goddess prodded.

Merlin snapped. “I DON”T KNOW! I’m scared of a lot of things. I’m scared of being executed, of being burnt at the pyre! I’m petrified of burning, have been my entire life, because it was drilled into my head as a child that if anyone ever learnt of my magic, I would be burnt alive. I’m scared of the people I love being punished because of my magic. Of what would happen to my mother if I was executed or Gaius if people knew he had been harbouring me, a magic user, for years. I’m scared of my friends hating me if they learnt the truth about me. I’m even more scared of Arthur hating me, because he hates magic and therefore he should hate me and I don’t know if I could go on living if Arthur hated me because he is my best friend and I love him and I don’t want him to hate me. I’m scared of the things I’ve done and the things I’ve coursed. I’m scared of the fact that I accidentally pushed Morgana into becoming the monster she is today. I’m scared of how I helped save Mordred, the person destined to _kill Arthur._ I’m scared at how easily it has become to lie and sneak around and perform magic without anyone knowing because it’s something I have had to do my entire life. I am scared of the prophecies about me. Of how the druids call me Emrys and treat me as though I am their god and how they expect me to fix everything for them. I’m scared of the power I have and how everyone keeps telling me I am the most powerful sorcerer to ever walk the earth! I am scared of the fact that I have a dragon at my command and a host of magic users ready to do anything I tell them too. I’m scared of how they look at me, _worship me,_ and trust me to be everything the prophecies say when really I’m just a bumbling idiot and I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m scared of myself and everything I am and everything I can do and I’m scared of hurting Arthur with my magic, by accident, if I ever lose control of it. Is that what you want to hear? Is that enough?” Merlin screamed, his eyes locked on the goddess as tears streamed down his face. “Is that what you want?” His voice cracked.

The goddess smiled sadly. “There is something else,” she said softly. “Something else that you fear more than everything you have just said.”

Merlin trembled, his breathing coming out heavily and shakily. “What more could you possibly want from me?” he asked unsteadily, crying heavily. He closed his eyes, clenching his trembling fingers into his palms. Then he opened his eyes and looked at the goddess again. “I’m scared that they are right,” he whispered. “I’m scared that everyone is right about magic. That I am evil.” He gulped and reached up to angrily wipe at the tears streaming down his face. “I’m scared that I’m a monster, just like everyone says. I’m scared that they are _right.”_

The goddess nodded. “You may pass.” Then she vanished.

Merlin stared at the floor as he continued to shake. Even though the bridge stretched out before him, he didn’t move. He couldn’t make himself look up. He could feel Arthur and the knights gazes on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look up and see the hatred in Arthur’s eyes. The disgust on his face. He stared at the floor and cried.

“Merlin,” Arthur said softly. “Merlin, come here.”

Merlin shook his head and wrapped his arms around himself as he continued to cry. He still didn’t look up.

“Merlin. Come. Here.”

Merlin peered up slightly. Arthur sighed and started to move towards him, but Gwaine’s arm shot out to stop him.

“I won’t let you hurt him. He isn’t evil. He might have magic, but he isn’t bad and if you so much as _look_ at him wrong, I will kill you.”

Merlin watched as Arthur raised an eyebrow at Gwaine. “I will forget that you just committed treason if you _move out of my way._ I’m not going to hurt Merlin.”

Gwaine and Arthur started at each other for a moment, before Gwaine moved out of the way. Arthur started towards Merlin, who quickly looked back down at his feet. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to stop the crying.

Arthur stopped just in front of him. “Merlin, look at me.”

Merlin did not such thing. Arthur sighed.

“Merlin. That’s an order. Look at me.”

Very slowly, Merlin opened his eyes and raised his head, preparing for the hatred and horror to be visible on Arthur’s face. But he saw none of that. Instead, he saw tears pooling in his friend and kings eyes.

“You _idiot,”_ Arthur said forcefully, before reaching out and tugging Merlin towards him.

Merlin stumbled, and then he was gathered up against Arthur in a fierce hug. Hesitantly, Merlin raised his arms and hugged Arthur back, burying his face in Arthur’s neck. He could feel himself shaking, but Arthur was shaking too and clinging to him just as tightly.

“You idiot,” Arthur said again, his lips brushing Merlin’s skin. “I don’t care if you have magic. You are my friend and I could never hate you. And you aren’t a monster. You aren’t, Merlin. You couldn’t be a monster even if you wanted to. You are the kindest, gentlest, best person I have ever known and I promise you, you are not evil. We weren’t right. None of us. Magic isn’t evil, it can’t be. Because _you_ aren’t evil and you have magic.” Arthur stopped talking, but he kept his arms around Merlin.   
Merlin hiccuped and snuggled closer.

“I love you, you idiot,” Arthur whispered suddenly. Then Arthur pulled back, just enough so that they could look each other in the eye. “I love you.” And he leant in to press a chaste kiss against Merlin’s lips. Merlin sighed, relief and exhaustion hitting him at the same time. He rested his forehead against Arthur’s.

“I love you, too, you prat,” he said softly.

Arthur squeezed him tightly. “I promise you, Merlin, that I will build you a world so that you never have to fear any of those things again.”

Merlin laughed lightly and pressed another chaste kiss to Arthur’s lips. “I know.” And he smiled because he knew that what Arthur had said was the truth and that he would never have to feel such fear again.


End file.
